Tuesday, August 16, 2005

Playing Games With Telemarketers

Playing Games With Telemarketers

I came accross this interesting transcript of a person's responses to telemarketers. I thought this posting was hillarious because of the way Jack has turned the whole conversation into Jack providing the information and the telemarketer answering the questions.

It always seems it is easiest to fluster a telemarketer by asking simple down to earth questions.

For example from the transcript:

Telemarketer: Ok. The reason I am calling is because Citibank would like to give you money to use on your home.

Jack: What is the interest rate?

Telemarketer: The what?

Jack: The interest rate?

Telemarketer: Umm, umm, umm

Jack: Skip ahead in your script and I am sure that you can find the numbers. Let’s talk turkey.

Telemarketer: I am confused.

Simple questions that interupt the flow of the telemarketer's script cause chaos on the other end of the phone it seems. The telemarketer is thrown off the rhythem they have developed from mindlessly reading the script in front of them over and over again. That is exactly chat Jack did above.

Another fun thing to do is simply ask them harder questions that the telemarketer will have to search information for. This is best done with a cordless phone since you will want to be doing something else (like drying the dishes) while you wait for the telemarketer. Here is an example of the above that my father actually did (this call originally took 30 minutes from pick-up to hang up, it has been condensed from what I can remember):

Telemarketer: Our company would like to provide you with all your family's groceries delivered right to your door.

Dad: that is nice, however, I do have some questions about your food.

Telemarketer: All the produce is organically grown and the livestock is humanly killed.

Dad: Where do you get your meat from?

Telemarketer: I need to look this up and I will be back in a minute or two. (Telemarketer spends 3-5 minutes looking up information)

(Telemarketer names slaughterhouse)

Dad: You just named the biggest slaugherhouse in Alberta!

Telemarketer: Nah, they take great care of their animals.

Dad: Your telling an Agriculture Canada inspector this?


I love when my Dad picks up the phone and a telemarketer is on the other end. My Dad usually has:

- these guys going around in circles in their script until the telemarketer gets so frustrated they hang up on my Dad.

- my Dad asks thousands of questions that the telemarketers can't answer

-a combination of the above.

Usually I am in the same room trying to keep my laughing down to as I roll on the floor in hillarity.

So the next time you pick-up the phone, try and have some fun

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