In Honor of Stupid People

 

In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods:

 

On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (Dang, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair)

 

On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (the shoplifter special?)

 

On a bar of Dial soap: "Directions: Use like regular soap." (and that would be how???....)

 

On some Swanson frozen dinners: "Serving suggestion: Defrost." (but, it's "just" a suggestion).

 

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): "Do not turn upside down." (well...duh, a bit late, huh!)

 

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: "Product will be hot after heating." (...and you thought????...)

 

On packaging for a Rowenta iron: "Do not iron clothes on body." (but wouldn't this save me more time?)

 

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication." (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

 

On Nytol Sleep Aid: "Warning: May cause drowsiness." (and...I'm taking this because???....)

 

On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only." (as opposed to...what?)

 

On a Japanese food processor: "Not to be used for the other use." (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

 

On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts." (talk about a news flash!!)

 

On an American Airlines packet of nuts: "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts." (Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

 

On a child's superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

 

On a Swedish chainsaw: "Don't attempt to stop chain with hands or genitals." (Oh my Gosh...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

 

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