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50 Fun Things to do During an Exam
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1. Bring a pillow. Fall asleep (or pretend to) until the last 15 minutes. Wake
up, say "oh geez, better get cracking" and
do some gibberish work. Turn it in a few minutes early.
2. Get a copy of the exam, run
out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!"
3. If it is a math/science
exam, answer in essay form. If it is long answer/essay form, answer with
numbers and symbols. Be creative. Use the integral symbol.
4. Make paper airplanes out of
the exam. Aim them at the instructor's left nostril.
5. Talk the entire way
through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out
loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm so sure you can hear me thinking. " Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor
is.
6. Bring cheerleaders.
7. Walk in, get the exam, sit down. About five minutes into it, loudly say to the
instructor, "I don't understand any of this. I've been to every lecture
all semester long! What's the deal? And who are you? Where's the regular
guy?"
8. Bring a Game Boy (or Game
Gear, etc. . . ). Play with the volume at max level.
9. On
the answer sheet (book, whatever) find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer
every question. For example: I refuse to answer this question on the grounds
that it conflicts with my religious beliefs. Be creative.
10. Bring pets.
11. Run into the exam room
looking about frantically. Breathe a sigh of relief. Go to the instructor, say
"They've found me, I have to leave the country" and run off.
12. Fifteen minutes into the
exam, stand up, rip up all the papers into very small pieces, throw them into
the air and yell out "Merry Christmas. "If
you're really daring, ask for another copy of the exam. Say you lost the first
one. Repeat this process every fifteen minutes.
13. Do the exam with crayons,
paint, or fluorescent markers.
14. Come into the exam
wearing slippers, a bathrobe, a towel on your head, and nothing else.
15. Come down with a BAD case
of Turet's Syndrome during the exam. Be as vulgar as
possible.
16. Do the entire exam in
another language. If you don't know one, make one up! For math/science exams,
try using Roman numerals.
17. Bring things to throw at the
instructor when s/he's not looking. Blame it on the
person nearest to you.
18. As soon as the instructor
hands you the exam, eat it.
19. Walk into the exam with
an entourage. Claim you are going to be taping your next video during the exam.
Try to get the instructor to let them stay, be persuasive. Tell the instructor
to expect a percentage of the profits if they are allowed to stay.
20. Every five minutes, stand
up, collect all your things, move to another seat, continue
with the exam.
21. Turn in the exam
approximately 30 minutes into it. As you walk out, start commenting on how easy
it was.
22. Do the entire exam as if
it was multiple choice and true/false. If it is a multiple choice exam, spell
out interesting things (DCCAB. BABE. etc. . ).
23. Bring a black marker.
Return the exam with all questions and answers completely blacked out.
24. Get the exam. Twenty
minutes into it, throw your papers down violently, scream out "Forget
this!" and walk out triumphantly.
25. Arrange a protest before
the exam starts (i. e. Threaten the instructor that
whether or not everyone's done, they are all leaving after one hour to go
drink)
26. Show up completely drunk.
(Completely drunk means at some point during the exam, you should start crying
for mommy).
27. Every now and then, clap
twice rapidly. If the instructor asks why, tell him/her in a very derogatory
tone, "the light bulb that goes on above my head when I get an idea is
hooked up to a clapper. DUH!"
28. Comment on how sexy the
instructor is looking that day.
29. Come to the exam wearing
a black cloak. After about 30 minutes, put on a white mask and start yelling
"I'm here, the phantom of the opera" until they drag you away.
30. Go to an exam for a class
you have no clue about, where you know the class is very small, and the
instructor would recognize you if you belonged. Claim that you have been to
every lecture. Fight for your right to take the exam.
31. Upon receiving the exam,
look it over, while laughing loudly, say "you
don't really expect me to waste my time on this drivel? Days of our Lives is on!!!"
32. Bring a water pistol with
you.
33. From the moment the exam
begins, hum the theme to Jeopardy. Ignore the instructor's requests for you to
stop. When they finally get you to leave one way or another, begin whistling
the theme to the Bridge on the River Kwai.
34. Start a brawl in the
middle of the exam.
35. If the exam is
math/science related, make up the longest proofs you could possibly think of.
Get pi and imaginary numbers into most equations. If it is a written exam,
relate everything to your own life story.
36. Come in wearing a full
knight's outfit, complete with sword and shield.
37. Bring a friend to give you
a back massage the entire way through the exam. Insist this person is needed,
because you have bad circulation.
38. Bring cheat sheets for
another class (make sure this is obvious. . . like history notes for a calculus
exam. . . otherwise you're not just failing, you're getting kicked out too) and
staple them to the exam, with the comment "Please use the attached notes
for references as you see fit. "
39. When you walk in,
complain about the heat.
40. After you get the exam,
call the instructor over, point to any question, ask for the answer. Try to
work it out of him/her.
41. One word: Wrestlemania.
42. Bring balloons, blow them
up, start throwing them around like they do before
concerts start.
43. Try to get people in the
room to do the wave.
44. Play frisbee with a friend at the other side of the room.
45. Bring one pencil with a
very sharp point. Break the point off your paper. Sharpen the pencil. Repeat
this process for one hour.
46. Get deliveries of candy,
flowers, balloons, telegrams, etc. . . sent to you every few minutes throughout the exam.
47. During the exam, take
apart everything around you. Desks, chairs, anything you can reach.
48. Complete the exam with
everything you write being backwards at a 90 degree angle.
49. Bring a musical
instrument with you, play various tunes. If you are asked to stop, say "it
helps me think. " Bring a copy of the Student
Handbook with you, challenging the instructor to find the section on musical
instruments during finals. Don't forget to use the phrase "Told you
so".
50. Answer the exam with the "Top Ten Reasons Why Professor xxxx is a Terrible Teacher"