Could this Really Happen?

 

 

Could this really happen???

 

Operator: "Thank you for calling Pizza Hut. "

 

Customer: "Hi, I'd like to order."

 

Operator: "May I have your NIDN first, sir?"

 

Customer: "My National ID Number, yeah, it's 6102049998-45-54610."

 

Operator: "Thank you, Mr. Sheehan. I see you live at 1742 Meadowland Drive, and the phone number's 494-2366. Your office number over at Lincoln Insurance is 745-2302 and your cell number's 266-2566. Which number are you calling from, sir?"

 

Customer: "Huh? I'm at home. Where d'ya get all this information?"

 

Operator: "We're wired into the system, sir."

 

Customer: (Sighs) "Oh, well, I'd like to order a couple of your All-Meat Special pizzas. "

 

Operator: "I don't think that's a good idea, sir."

 

Customer: "Whaddya mean?"

 

Operator: "Sir, your medical records indicate that you've got very high blood pressure and extremely high cholesterol. Your National Health Care provider won't allow such an unhealthy choice."

 

Customer: "Rats!  What do you recommend, then?"

 

Operator: "You might try our low-fat Soybean Yogurt Pizza. I'm sure you'll like it.

 

Customer: "What makes you think I'd like something like that?"

 

Operator: "Well, you checked out 'Gourmet Soybean Recipes' from your local library last week, sir. That's why I made the suggestion."

 

Customer: "All right, all right. Give me two family-sized ones, then. What's the damage?"

 

Operator: "That should be plenty for you, your wife and your four kids, sir. The 'damage,' as you put it, comes to $49.99."

 

Customer: "Lemme give you my credit card number."

 

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but I'm afraid you'll have to pay in cash. Your credit card balance is over its limit."

 

Customer: "I'll run over to the ATM and get some cash before your driver gets here."

 

Operator: "That won't work either, sir. Your checking account's overdrawn."

 

Customer: "Never mind. Just send the pizzas. I'll have the cash ready. How long will it take?"

 

Operator: "We're running a little behind, sir. It'll be about 45 minutes, sir. If you're in a hurry you might want to pick 'em up while you're out getting the cash, but carrying pizzas on a motorcycle can be a little awkward."

 

Customer: "How in the world do you know I'm riding a bike?"

 

Operator: "It says here you're in arrears on your car payments, so your car got repo'ed. But your Harley's paid up, so I just assumed that you'd be using it."

 

Customer: "@#%/$@&?#!"

 

Operator: "I'd advise watching your language, sir. You've already got a July 2006 conviction for cussing out a cop."

 

Customer: (Speechless)

 

Operator: "Will there be anything else, sir?"

 

Customer: "No, nothing. Oh, yeah, don't forget the two free liters of Coke your ad says I get with the pizzas."

 

Operator: "I'm sorry sir, but our ad's exclusionary clause prevents us from offering free soda to soon-to-be diabetics." 

 

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